You’ve been told that ‘you can’t run away from yourself’.
They are wrong!
They’ll tell you that ‘You can’t leave your problems home and go away’.
Go away, and then you’ll see.
A recent heartbreak or one of those stories that keep you glued to facebook notifications, are one of the biggest threats to the wandering spirits; they are able to make it rest in silence for long periods, to allow your lovelorn body and mind to stay available for any sudden clarification requests, random meetings along the road traveled together billions of times. All things that will not happen, at least as long as the diseased part of the mind seeks and waits.
Then I, surely a bed example but aware of reality, will give you 5 reasons to elope.
Because it is not true that ‘you can not escape from yourself’, sometimes.
1 – Forcng ourselves to travel is a form of resistance, just like happiness.
When a part mentally ill (the strongest, because the hormones are the primary source of motivation) keeps you anchored to a chair or a couch or ambulate casually always in front of the same door, the other party must at least try to answer . The search for a train and a hotel are forms of resistance to this non-resident evil.
2 – A plane can save you… this way:
It’s better to make veeery long flights.
Perhaps there is no escape from your pain, but there is an escape from the perverse attitude to look in facebook the primary source of your sorrow. 10-12 hours flight will force you to:
– Stay away from web
– Watch movies with Jude Law
– Allow people to miss you (at least from the web)
– In some cases even sleep and remember what it feels like to.
3 – Remember the essence of life
Once in a foreign land, itwill be easier to remember that, beyond of what could be done to save your story, no matter how the other one is better or worse than you, and bla bla bla, there are some things that take precedence over all instances of life, such as:
– where can I find a cupcake in this country?
– where can I have a decent coffee? (well, I’m Italian)
– I have to poop, there will be around here a decent public toilet?
– How can I ask for some ‘water’ in this country? And what about a pint?
4 – You’ll get fit
You will walk for hours and hours, with music in the ears and occasionally (come on, let’s say, quite often) retracing your thoughts of lost love in that music. But … you’ll walk for hours.
Especially if alone.
And you will come back in the evening at the hotel thinking you’re toning your legs, you’re moving a lot, you’ve lost weight or you’re still finding your contact with your body.
It will be easier to notice people looking at you with interest and suddenly remember that you are beautiful. Even more because vulnerable.
Beauty is but a constellation of stereotypes and attitudes, just like love and what remains of it.
5 – Recover the strength (also to lie to yourself)
Okay, I know it and you know it. As soon as you’re in a place with free wi-fi you’ll post photos of your journey on facebook, and we know that you will not do it in order to reassure your mother or to show you them to your best friend. Needless to ignore the sick part.
But … look well at those photos, then.
It will not be just a figment of the lovesickness but a crazy joint venture of your desire to die, and your desire to live.
Because they’ll be posts and pics that, regardless of your actual mental state, will lie describing yourself as a free and happy.
Lying is beautiful, and it works. And someone will eventually be persuaded that you have forgotten and that you’re over it. And that you are superior and free.
Maybe just yourself, and that’s ok.
12 Comments
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Sabrina - In My Suitcase
Dear Adnan, thank you so much for sharing your very strong experience and personal feeling and emotions with all of us!
I feel privileged by the fact you told me your story.
Once I felt just like you do, when I travelled after the end of a story and you know what? Also my bf did and felt like this because of a former broken up story. But I know that all sorrows and all new starts are different from each other and we all have our own and very personal path to go trough. And all I know is… there’s no easy way out, we must go through all of this sorrow and regrets before starting again (with the person that you are missing now or with any one else).
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Phoenix Locksmiths - Metrolockandsafe
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Adnan
I am writing this from a breakfast place in Mexico City!!! I am doing this right now! She broke up w me and moved on fast! I can’t sleep I can’t often breath all I want to do is want her back. But I don’t own her and I have to respect her! I know a little part me still think we have chance. I escaped from NC to Mexico City to breath again. I just walked, went on tours, used google translator to get around, Stayed in hostels. I did every thing to not think bout her! I succeeded during the day when I stayed busy walking museums or new neighborhood taking pictures etc but as I would wake up alone after a night of drinking or just out of the blue sometimes my heart will start beating fast I can feel the pain and loss creeping in and as it happens I just want to come back home and hold her or see her face, I drown in the regrets of how I could have saved our relationship or how I could have been a better boyfriend. staying in hostels help because you meet so many lost/inspiring souls like yourself there. Everyone is trying to find something to look forward to! 2 things I learned 1.) I made great friends in hostels but in couple days they went their way and all I have is their memories! 2.) just couple weeks ago I had no idea where Mexico City was but i feel in love w Mexico City! It’s probbly my new favorite city. Just like that it reminds me that I can also learn to love another person. If I can learn to love a new city I can also learn to love another person.
Putla I can never tell you in person but I would drop anything just to be w you.